In Steve’s last weeks, our Lymphoedema and In-Patient Unit teams were able to make him more comfortable and give him precious time to spend with his family – chatting, laughing, and most importantly, listening to all his favourite music.
Steve’s wife, Kathy, and daughters, Jessica and Jennifer, explain how this ‘special ending’ has helped them move forwards with their lives.
Charging through life
Kathy: Steve said yes to everything! If you were offering to go out for a coffee somewhere or book a holiday abroad – whatever it was, he would always say yes.
He just charged through life and was a lot of fun to be with. He was one of those totally full-on, plate-spinning, multi-tasking, fast people who was happiest when he was flying into any sort of activity. I used to say that he should have been a paramedic, because he always looked like he was responding to an emergency situation!
Getting diagnosed
Jessica: We found out that Dad might have cancer in January 2024, but we knew for definite a few months later in May.
By September he had developed a leg ulcer. What we didn’t know at the time, was that this was a condition called lymphoedema, which was most likely caused by his cancer. It started as a tiny red dot on his leg and grew to being an ulcer that went from his knee down to his ankle. From that moment on Dad was in and out of hospital with fluid retention issues in his legs, amongst other side effects. On one occasion he got a very serious infection called cellulitis.
“If it wasn’t for Carly, the fluid in Dad’s swollen legs would have just kept getting worse.”
Help at hand
Jessica: By June 2025 Dad was attending a lot of hospital appointments to help address his symptoms. One day a doctor was really honest with us and said, “Look, I think Steve needs palliative care.” We were told to ask for a referral to Willen Hospice and were connected with the Hospice’s Lymphoedema service, to treat the fluid in his legs. Carly, a specialist lymphoedema nurse, came out to assess Dad. She could see we were struggling and was worried Dad might have a fall at home. We didn’t know anything about lymphoedema, but we were so pleased to be under Carly’s care.
If it wasn’t for Carly, the fluid in Dad’s swollen legs would have just kept getting worse. Carly spotted us in our hour of need and then fought for us. We kept talking about her as our guardian angel. With someone backing him, Dad suddenly felt very supported. Him and Carly had lots of chats about sport. She had such a warmth about her.
Arriving at the In-Patient Unit
Kathy: Everything happened really quickly. Carly said, “I’m going to try and get Steve into the Hospice’s In-Patient Unit because we’ll be able to do more for him there.” So Jessica and I had gone from being at home struggling to change bandages on Steve’s legs that kept soaking through the bed, to knowing we were going to the Hospice for what seemed like hope, really.
We felt in the best place from the moment we arrived at the Hospice. The whole place was calm, caring and relaxing. We had confidence in all of the staff. Everyone had time to just stop, stand and listen – whatever we were feeling and no matter how repetitive we were. We felt like we were carried through this very difficult, exhausting and emotional journey.
“… Dad was now being cared for at the Hospice, and the responsibility and strain was finally being taken off Mum.”
Jennifer: I live 250 miles away in Cornwall, but when Dad first arrived at the Hospice I felt like I was right there with him. Mum, Dad and Jessica were all getting such considered care and clear communication, so they could easily share everything that was happening with me. Jessica said the staff would refer to me when talking to Dad – bringing me into the picture, even though I’d not yet arrived. I felt so relieved knowing Dad was now being cared for at the Hospice, and the responsibility and strain was finally being taken off Mum.
Immediate improvement
Jessica: What we didn’t realise is that we had been struggling for a number of months. You’re fighting for your loved one, to get them through the system, and that’s tiring. Once we got to the Hospice, it was like we were scooped up into this safety bubble. I said to Mum, “You’re here as a visitor now, rather than a carer.” We knew we would be looked after as well. That made all the difference.
Carly started work on Dad’s legs pretty much the day he arrived. Within probably hours, the difference was very noticeable. Rather than the swelling just filling up like a balloon, it was being moved and managed. Carly had the specialist knowledge and the right bandages to do something about it.
“… every single member of staff – the nurses, doctors, hostesses, cleaners – brightened Dad’s day.”
A home from home
Jessica: It sounds strange to say, but we just had the best time at the Hospice. And so did Dad, despite being ill. People use the term ‘home from home’, but it actually did feel like that. Dad had really settled into his room. There were lots of practical things that made his days much easier than at home. And it’s not an exaggeration to say that every single member of staff – the nurses, doctors, hostesses, cleaners – brightened Dad’s day.
He was an absolutely huge music fan, so we kept listening to his funeral playlist we had put together a few weeks earlier. Dad loved choosing the songs, but he wanted all of them included and it ended up being two hours long! We had the playlist on non-stop in his Hospice room. We used his music to lift him. We had cake every afternoon while we chatted. We were really enjoying knowing that it was sacred time together.
“We were so grateful for this special ending for Dad. This magical time of being by the lake.”
Being ready
Jessica: Dad fell unconscious in July 2025 and it was nearly a week until he died. His heart would not stop beating. So we had a week of sitting and realising what was going to happen. For all of that week, me, Mum and Jen were talking about when we were younger, about Mum and Dad meeting – a life history basically.
When he died, obviously we were really heartbroken and wishing it hadn’t happened, but we knew it was going to happen. We were ready. And we were so grateful for this special ending for Dad. This magical time of being by the lake.
“… in those days in Dad’s Hospice room, we were celebrating his life whilst he was still here.”
At Dad’s funeral we were surprised to feel really composed. We think that’s because we did so much processing during our time at the Hospice. People talk about funerals being a celebration of life, but in those days in Dad’s Hospice room, we were celebrating his life whilst he was still here.
Jennifer: I arrived the day before Dad fell unconscious and was immediately surrounded by a sense of peace and calm at the Hospice. During that last week the gentle care of the staff reassured us that we were in the right place and there was no rushing this part.
Jessica and I could stay in the relatives’ room as many nights as we wanted and not once did we feel like we were over-staying our welcome or getting in the way. It was also a really happy time. We did quite a lot of laughing, as well as crying.
“You honestly and truthfully could not have had a better end for anyone.”
As happy as it could be
Kathy: You honestly and truthfully could not have had a better end for anyone. Just to know that we were all safe and we didn’t have to panic. Even through the nights, knowing that we could be with Steve and there were Hospice staff backing us up. At the end, it was as happy as it possibly could be. And that’s made a real difference in how we move forward.
Returning to the Hospice
Jessica: When dad died, we didn’t want to leave. The first thing we did when Jen visited for Christmas last year was visit the Hospice for a walk. It was good to be back. When we’re there, we feel we’re really close to Dad. Mum, my sons and I all did the Santa Dash together last Christmas in Dad’s memory. We feel like there’s something that connects us to the Hospice and we keep wanting to return.
“We felt like we had a golden ticket being at the Hospice.”
We’d always heard great things about Willen Hospice, but now we’ve lived the experience, we can recognise how lucky we are to have such a service in our local area. We knew that the other option was either Dad being on a hospital ward, or being at home and really needing a proper support plan in place, which would have taken time to set up. We were so grateful. We felt like we had a golden ticket being at the Hospice.
We’re incredibly grateful to Steve’s family for sharing their story, and also for the £2,200 they’ve fundraised so far to support our Lymphoedema service.
