Jo’s husband, Mike, was only 42 when he died from a brain tumour in our In-Patient Unit on Boxing Day in 2007. Inspired by the amazing support she and her two teenage children received, Jo was determined to work for the Hospice one day. She’s now been a member of staff on the unit for 14 years and feels our care is still just as special and life-changing for local families.
I knew nothing about the Hospice in 2006. We’d only moved to Milton Keynes a few years earlier and bought the newsagents in Newport Pagnell. It was all very sudden.
A sudden change
One Saturday Mike said that his face felt a bit numb. On Monday he went out to deliver the papers with our son, Cameron, and had a seizure while he was driving. Cameron, who was only 15, had to take control of the car. Mike was taken to hospital and had another seizure while we were there.
“[Mike] was given three to six months to live.”
The next day I got a phone call from Mike himself to tell me they’d found a brain tumour. He got transferred to a hospital in Oxford and was given three to six months to live. That was June and he died in December the following year. He was 42.
Social support
The Hospice had a Patient and Family Service, who were great in supporting me and the kids. I used to get frustrated and they said, “Just write it down every day.” So I wrote a blog the whole time Mike was ill. Cameron had just started doing his GCSEs. The team went into the school and got a support network sorted for him. Hannah had just started work and when it got closer to the end they helped her in her workplace as well.
“I used to go to the carers group at the Hospice … to have a cup of tea and a chat.”
I used to go to the carers group at the Hospice, which was a drop-in to have a cup of tea and a chat. They also did ‘day hospice’ sessions back then, three days a week. I’d drop Mike off in the morning and pick him up at about 3pm. Every time I brought him, he said to me, “Taking me to God’s waiting room today, are you?!” But he loved it when he was here. He used to do lots of activities and he made me Christmas cards and things like that.
‘Hotel Willen’
Mike got more unwell and because we had the shop and lived upstairs, we couldn’t have carers coming and going. So he came to stay in the Hospice’s In-Patient Unit. He arrived in autumn and died on Boxing Day. We got very into the ‘Willen way’ in that time.
“It actually felt like someone got us – me and the kids.”
We always remember that when we arrived, we went into room 5 and were met by a healthcare assistant who said, “Welcome to Hotel Willen!” And it did feel like that. It felt so different. It actually felt like someone got us – me and the kids.
In hospital rules were rules, and we had to leave once visiting hours had finished, even when one night Mike had been having seizures. I never stayed overnight at Willen, but it was an option. The open visiting was good for the kids to come and go as much as they wanted. We were all well supported by Willen. It was just a totally, totally different story here.
Familiar faces
There’s a whole group of people who supported us who are still working here now. Julie was always on the reception desk when I came in. Some of the nurses are still here too.
“We had Christmas Day together and he died on Boxing Day.”
Dr Ben, who’s now our Hospice consultant, was the person who told me Mike was dying. I still remember that conversation because I wanted the kids to be prepared. It was two weeks before Christmas and I said to Dr Ben, “Where are we at?” And he said, “I think Mike will make Christmas but just.” And he did. We had Christmas Day together and he died on Boxing Day.
Becoming one of the team
While Mike was staying here, I thought, “This is an amazing place to work. One day I want to do that.” It was five years later in the end.
“A hostess job came up on the In-Patient Unit … I got the job and loved it.”
I did other jobs and was remarried, to my second Mike! Then a hostess job came up on the In-Patient Unit in 2012. I applied because I thought that’s a good way of testing the water. I got the job and loved it. Eventually I moved into a clinical administration role. I currently look after two services – the unit and Willen at Home.
Hannah was working at a care home in the dementia unit when I joined. She wasn’t sure about working at Willen, but a permanent job came up and she got it. Hannah’s the same as me – she loves working here.
Life without the Hospice
Without the Hospice, I think we probably would have had to manage at home. I don’t really know how that would have affected the kids. Because I think my kids have come out of it quite level-headed, but I don’t think that’s from me. I think that’s because Willen guided us with how to do stuff.
“[Mike] always felt safe here…”
I’d only been here one afternoon and I thought, “Mike’s safe here – they are going to look after him.” He always felt safe here too. It was the only place he’d been where he used to say to us, “You don’t need to come. Why don’t you spend time with the kids today.”
The little things
Our experience still grounds me now. Willen has changed massively in the last 15 years, but I still think it’s amazing.
“It was clear that someone was thinking about us, and that meant so much.”
Because Mike and I owned the newsagents, the kids could have whatever they wanted out of the shop and quite often did. But when we came to the Hospice that Christmas, when Mike was dying, one of the nurses gave the kids a selection box each. And they still talk about it now. It was clear that someone was thinking about us, and that meant so much.
Working at Willen, we need to appreciate even those little things we do and how much they mean to people. Because you don’t know what impact that little thing is going to have forever.
