After retiring from his job as a telecoms engineer at the age of 52, Ian met his partner, Geraldine (pictured together). Despite Ian being diagnosed with prostate cancer, the couple have spent the last 10 years doing ‘a lot of travelling and a lot of living!’ When recent ill health left Ian bedridden, his determination and the support of our Hospice teams have meant he’s been able to regain some independence.
I’m stubborn! If I decide there’s something I need to do, then I don’t dodge it. If you have good feelings in your headspace, then your body can follow on. So I think to myself, ‘just keep bright’.
“I think to myself, ‘just keep bright’”
Last November I was walking around doing things, being best man at my friend’s wedding. By January I was in the Hospice and I couldn’t stand up, couldn’t walk. So I’ve lost all of this. Now I’m having to start all over again with baby steps. But I will do it.
Low in energy
It’s coming up for seven years since I was diagnosed with prostate cancer. I had no symptoms. I was a bit low on energy. I used to go to the gym a lot and I got cross because I couldn’t achieve what I was achieving six months before. I went to the doctor for a blood test, and then got referred to an oncologist. I was beyond surgery; the cancer had spread too far. So it was a case of me just having to deal with it, as opposed to it being removed. I had three bouts of chemotherapy. Each one takes a little bit away from you, but you can still function.
“The doctors gave my close family the ‘he’s got three days’ talk”
In December I had a lot of quite serious pain that I’ve never had before. I was taken by ambulance to the Cancer Centre at Milton Keynes hospital, where I was being treated. I had the beginnings of sepsis, and I had pneumonia. The doctors gave my close family the ‘he’s got three days’ talk. But I managed to pull through. I spent two weeks in hospital and then moved to Willen’s In-Patient Unit. I’d done enough to come off the ‘three days’ list onto the ‘well, maybe a bit longer’ list.
Under the Willen umbrella
In Willen, I flourished. I felt better for myself. I had my own room. A bit of privacy means you can do things for yourself and talk to yourself and listen to the radio. Most importantly, when I pressed that button on the side of my bed, someone came almost straight away. I knew that if I was uncomfortable or needed cleaning, there was someone to help.
I had so many different experts come in to my room at the Hospice. And everybody had something to add, which was great. I felt very cared for. But it’s not just the clinical care. It’s this big umbrella of everything. Wherever you reached out to, there was help and there were answers.
‘Can do’ attitude
I understand they can’t keep people in the Hospice for too long, as they need the bed space. I was better off at home once I was stable. The staff were assessing me all the time. They encouraged me too. I was pestering the nurses to put me in a chair after not many days! I would pull myself up using a special hoist. What a job that was, but I did it and that then demonstrates my commitment.
I had a great rapport with the nurses. They probably like a trier! If I asked a question, they loved it. There’s a real ‘can do’ attitude. I had two weeks there and we got to a point where they said I was strong enough to go home.
“Willen at Home give me great advice and they do stuff that I can’t get done myself”
Care and support at home
Fortunately, I’ve been able to come out of the Hospice and improve my life again, for however long that is. I’ve still got the same care and ongoing support, through the Willen at Home team. And that is the best thing that’s ever happened. The fact that I’ve got them as a backstop.
The team are fantastic with a capital F. They’re there if I need them. They come and visit me. They give me great advice and they do stuff that I can’t get done myself. We needed a bed downstairs, so they organised a bed. They help with my medications and work closely with my GP. These are all things I then don’t have to be concerned about.
“I’ve found my way of dealing with adversity is that you don’t give in”
Demanding but achievable goals
My temporary home is downstairs but my goal is to be upstairs in my own bed eventually. All these things are achievable. I’ve found my way of dealing with adversity is that you don’t give in. You set yourself goals. Demanding but achievable ones. Can a nurse help get me out of the bed and into my chair? Then asking myself, can I get up out of the chair? Which I never thought I would do. Then we moved on – we tried the walker and then a walking stick. Maybe I’ll get out to walk along the road. If you’re comfortable that you’ve got not only physical support, but also emotional support and someone encouraging you, then you can do things.
“One of the toughest bits of being ill has been having to relearn to stand and walk”
I have a lot of friends who are content to sit and read the newspaper, or go to the shops. I’ve always been active. I played league badminton for about 25 years. I played cricket until I was 60. I played golf. One of the toughest bits of being ill has been having to relearn to stand and walk again. But I really appreciate it. For me, walking to the end of the room and back with a walking stick – fantastic! Felt like I’d climbed a mountain.
The city’s own hospice
Having a superb facility like Willen on your doorstep is amazing and it’s a privilege. I know a lot of events in Milton Keynes raise money for Willen, over everything else. People who live around here, their default is Willen. My son, Chris, has been quite touched by the care I’ve had. He’s taking part in a cycling challenge over 360 miles and is raising money for Willen. It finishes on Father’s Day at Milton Keynes rugby club. My goal is to be there to see him finish.
“The fact that the Hospice is funded by local people year after year … As a patient, you really appreciate it”
I think people feel part of Willen Hospice. This is ours. Our very own hospice in Milton Keynes. And the fact that so much of it is funded by local people year after year after year, it’s outstanding. As a patient, you really appreciate it. You think this feels almost personal.
The Hospice is not just a place where you go and gasp your last breaths. There’s so much more to it. And the fact that local people relate to that, I think, is a testament to all the good work that goes on there.
