Geoff’s story

Sue and I went to school together, in the same class. We left school and went our separate ways. Sue got married before I did, but her husband was diagnosed with cancer and was only 58 when he died. I got married too and things didn’t go right – divorced.  

A second chance 
Eventually I joined the Stony Stratford Bowls Club as a social member, because my sister played there. One particular Friday evening, I think it was in 2006, Sue came in. We just said hello and that was it that first time.  

At the end of August there was a club competition. Sue was bowling in a final against my sister. I decided I’d go down there and watch. Sue had finished bowling and had her little dog with her. As she was walking along the side of the green, somebody shouted, “If you’re taking your dog for a walk, Geoff will go with you.” I said, “I haven’t been invited.” Sue said, “If you want to come for a walk with me, you can.” And that’s how it all started. 

“Best part of my life – the last 20 years.”

Always busy, but happy
I moved in with her December that same year. And it was brilliant. Best part of my life – the last 20 years. 

At school, Sue was very quiet. But when I met up with her at the bowls club, she was totally different. Once she got talking, oh dear me! She was a hairdresser for 58 years. It wasn’t just the hairdressing she enjoyed, it was the ‘exercising the jaw’, as I used to say!  

Sue was a person that, if she could help anybody, she would. She was always doing something, always busy. Very often I had to make an appointment to see her, but she was happy.

Inspired to fundraise 
Sue lost her son, Matthew, to cancer about a year before we met at the bowls club. He was 32. He died at Willen Hospice, and because they’d been so good looking after Matthew, she got involved with fundraising. 

“She raised over £70,000 for the Hospice altogether.”

She got all sorts of certificates of thanks. She collected the Hospice lottery payments for 20-odd years around Hanslope. She raised over £70,000 for the Hospice altogether. And she donated £1,000 through her Will.

A gruelling fight
In 2019 Sue was diagnosed with breast cancer, which was awful. She went through chemo, radiotherapy and had to have an operation before she got the all clear. But she had been having trouble with her water works for quite a while. Eventually I had to take her to the Churchill Hospital in Oxford for scans. She’d got bowel and bladder cancer.  

In December last year the doctors told me there was nothing else medically they could do for her and she went to Willen. She was there three weeks before she passed. 

One last Christmas 

Willen were lovely. Sue had a lot of visitors when she went there. She was very popular. On Christmas Day I had Christmas dinner with her. She had a few decorations up in her room and some presents to open. 

Just before Christmas some of the MK Dons team went in to visit patients. I’ve got a photograph of Sue with the footballers in her room (left). That’s the last picture of her. She died on the 30th.  

I’ll always remember that morning. I was sitting in her room holding her hand. The doctor came in for a moment and sat down to talk to us. She looked at Sue and realised she’d passed. I couldn’t let go of Sue’s hand for an hour and a quarter afterwards. 

“I couldn’t let go of Sue’s hand for an hour and a quarter afterwards.” 

Getting support 
I’ve been going to the Hospice on Thursday mornings since January. Initially, I just had a one-to-one with Jurate, who’s one of the counsellors. The first meeting with her was really, really difficult. She wanted to know everything that had happened and how I’d been feeling. But she’s been very good. I can’t fault her. It’s certainly helped me.   

Jurate got a bit worried about me. I was waking up at night and having horrible thoughts – I didn’t want to be here anymore. She told me to go and speak to my GP straightaway. I’ll be honest, I don’t think Jurate realises how much she’s helped me. 

Walking for wellbeing
In February Jurate said, “How do you feel about joining the walking group?” And that’s what I’ve done now. I’ve been with the group every Thursday morning. They’re very nice people. I have a good chat with everybody there and we walk up to the lake. It’s nice because when we come back we have tea, coffee, cake and biscuits. If there’s anything I want to discuss, Jurate’s usually there and walks with us.  

“I have a good chat with everybody there and we walk up to the lake.”

When I went recently, one of the chaps that I’ve got to know quite well said, “I’ve got something for you.” He reached around the back of his chair and brought out a walking stick. He’d noticed that when my hips are painful, I have a job to walk in a straight line. But that stick did help me. I went to give it back afterwards and he said I could keep it. It’s lovely. 

Much loved 
My sister told me, I think it was a couple of weeks after me and Sue had first met at the bowling club, that Sue had always fancied me at school. I didn’t know that. I wonder now sometimes, if we’d have got together at school, how different life would have been.  

Sue was so kind. Everybody loved her. Everything she went through, she never moaned. She was just so lovely. 20 good years together – absolutely fantastic. 

“Sue was so kind. Everybody loved her.”

Now, as long as I’ve got something to do, or I’m visiting somebody or people are visiting me, I’m not too bad. But when I’m by myself for a period of time, I find it very difficult. It’s going to take me a long while to get over this. 

Sue loved her garden, her flowers and her plants. I promised her that I’d look after the bungalow and the garden, which is what I’m doing. 

I’d like to thank the Hospice for what they did for Sue, and how they’re supporting me now.