Every Christmas is a gift.
Our In-Patient Unit team have seen many patients celebrating Christmas with their loved ones at the Hospice, but last year it was Michelle, 42, who brought a smile to everyone’s faces with not one, but two, special Christmas celebrations.
Michelle’s mum, Amanda, has very kindly shared her story to support our Christmas appeal 2025 and show the huge impact our care can have for local families.
Amanda’s story unfolds across three parts, each telling a different stage in her and Michelle’s journey. In part one Amanda explains Michelle’s diagnosis and the difference that our in-patient care made to Michelle and her loved ones as Christmas approached.
In July 2006 Michelle married her childhood sweetheart, James. They first met at playgroup. James was my son’s best friend, so he would often be at our home. For their wedding invitation cards, Michelle and James used a picture of them at his fifth birthday party. Michelle was three, and she’s kissing him on the cheek.
“Michelle always involved me in her life, in everything.”
They had my three lovely grandchildren, now all teenagers. I’ve been a huge part of their lives from the second they were born. Michelle always involved me in her life, in everything.
An ongoing stomach ache
It started in 2023. Michelle had a stomach ache that wouldn’t go away. I told her to see a doctor, but she was too busy doing things with the children. She took paracetamol to ease the pain. In August I went to stay with her and saw the pain she was in. Eventually, I convinced her to go to the doctor.
The first scan showed that she had an ovarian cyst the size of a grapefruit. It was during further scans that they saw something else. Michelle was eventually diagnosed with stage 4 bowel cancer and started chemotherapy in October 2023. Me or her eldest daughter were with her at all her chemo sessions; we didn’t want her to go through the treatment alone.
Needing pain relief
Needing pain reliefThe cancer spread to her lungs and her liver. In May 2024 she had an operation to remove 60% of her liver. But following surgery she picked up an infection in her wound. She was very unwell and not eating. She stayed in hospital for 21 days. I was practically living at her house so I could help with the children, do the washing and take her to appointments – all while working remotely.
“…by October Michelle required the Willen at Home team to visit…”
She was on an awful lot of drugs and by October she required the Willen at Home team to visit and administer pain relief. The out-of-hours team sometimes came in the middle of the night to give her pain relief too.
Given days left to live
Michelle was extremely brave and never complained. But she called out to me one night. She couldn’t stop vomiting. We had to call 999 and she was taken to hospital. I think I was living in a dream world, hoping that they would give her something and she’d come home. But it was during that visit that they said, “There’s nothing more we can do – she’s probably got days left.”
We contacted family and friends, and lots of them came to say their goodbyes. As ill as she was, Michelle was laughing and smiling, thanking everyone for taking the time to visit her. We were desperate to get her to the Hospice, because we didn’t want her to die in the hospital. And, with the help and determination of some wonderful people, we got her there.
“Willen Hospice gave us Michelle back, so she could do things she was desperate to do. She wrote letters to her three children…”
Precious time
In the time she stayed there, Willen Hospice gave us Michelle back, so she could do things she was desperate to do. She wrote letters to her three children, to her brother Marc, to her husband, to her stepdad, and one to me, which I treasure. She would lay in the bath at the Hospice, all comfy in the warm water with lots of pillows. They made it so beautiful for her. I would be sat on the chair and she’d be dictating her letters to the children. I’d type them all up for her, then she’d handwrite at the bottom of each one ‘love from mummy’.
Never alone
My husband, Peter, would visit every weekend and, especially in the early days, he would say, “Michelle is looking so much better today.” She really was. She couldn’t string a sentence together when she first arrived – it took too much energy. And then here she was giving orders! It was lovely to have her back like that.
My son and son-in-law and all the children would be here all the time, spending the day with her. She was never ever left on her own. She had so many friends wanting to visit her that we had to draw up a visiting timetable.
A Christmas miracle?
It was getting nearer to Christmas and I thought a miracle was happening. Near enough every day, I would ask the doctors, “Am I witnessing a miracle?” They would explain, “No, Michelle is mostly pain-free here. Because she’s pain-free, she can eat, and the food has given her some energy, which is why she’s looking stronger.”
She was able to walk, which she couldn’t do when she arrived. We’d go down to the Lakeview Room in the In-Patient Unit, to sit there and have a cup of coffee.
“All of the staff and volunteers were so accommodating and kind. It seemed that nothing was too much trouble.”
Kindness and care
Michelle wanted to join in everything. She was able to participate with two lots of carol singers. I remember her being wrapped up warm watching the Santa Dash from the balcony. All of the staff and volunteers were so accommodating and kind. It seemed that nothing was too much trouble.
They looked after me extremely well too. They really did. I’d go down to the cafe and the staff would always ask, “How is Michelle today?” They were all rooting for her to have a Christmas. Being so young, she touched a lot of lives while she was there.
Christmas appeal
This December local families are facing the hardest moments imaginable, like their final Christmas together. But thanks to supporters like you, that day will still be filled with laughter, paper crowns, cracker jokes and a Christmas dinner.
Amanda's story
part two
Michelle wanted to have Christmas early in case she wasn't well enough on 25 December, and we arranged that, with help from Chloe – a lead nurse on the In-Patient Unit. Chloe told us all the different things that they could offer.
Amanda's story
part three
Michelle didn't want to leave her children, but she knew she didn't have a choice. We all made promises to her, that we'd always be there for the children and we are. We will do whatever we can to give them a good life.
