In part two of Amanda’s story, she describes the two special Christmas celebrations daughter Michelle was able to enjoy with her family, at the Hospice.
Amanda’s story unfolds across three parts. If you haven’t already, you can read part one here.
Christmas comes early
Michelle wanted to have Christmas early in case she wasn’t well enough on 25 December, and we arranged that, with help from Chloe – a lead nurse on the In-Patient Unit. Chloe told us all the different things that they could offer. Michelle said exactly what it was she wanted, and it was all arranged for 4 December. One of her daughters did her makeup and she looked gorgeous, as always. There was a Christmas tree, and fairy lights and tinsel along the wall.
“I didn’t see it as a sad day… It was a happy time because we were able to make those lovely memories…”
We just kept it to family. So it was Michelle, James and their three children; my husband and myself; and my son and his family. We exchanged presents, played games and listened to music. I danced with my one of my granddaughters. It was just a really lovely day. I didn’t see it as a sad day. I didn’t see it as ‘this is Michelle’s last Christmas’. It was a happy time because we were able to make those lovely memories with our darling Michelle. It was a time where we could do the things she enjoyed.
Michelle knew she had to be careful what she ate because it would have a consequence. She had some nice things from the buffet and she paid the price afterwards, but she was prepared to do that. It was just lovely to see her all dolled up. She had on her Christmas earrings and her Christmas jumper, and she joined in the games. I could see her watching her children doing various things; she looked so proud of them.
Another chance to celebrate
On Christmas Day itself the Hospice staff set a table up beautifully at the side of Michelle’s bed for her, James and the three children to have their Christmas dinner together. I think she had a little glass of red wine diluted with lemonade, and a proper Christmas lunch. There was a tablecloth and Christmas crackers. Michelle just smiled all the way through it, my darling girl. I don’t know what went through her mind that day; I never asked her. Maybe I didn’t want to know.
Wonderful staff and volunteers
“I can’t thank them enough for what they did for us.”
We met some wonderful staff and volunteers at the Hospice. I can’t thank them enough for what they did for us. They said it was difficult for them, with Michelle being so young. Nurses Yoli, Sarah and Debbie, to name but a few, were all wonderful.
The volunteers came in, bless them, every morning. David would always be singing the Beatles song ‘Michelle’ when he came in to ask what we would like for breakfast. He is a lovely, lovely man and we spoke with him a lot. Mike would always ask if I’d eaten enough that day, and encourage me to have something. They looked after me so well.
A peaceful death
Because of Willen, Michelle had a peaceful death. She was pain-free. For the last 48 hours, she was sleeping and we were waiting.
They allowed me to stay at the Hospice every night that Michelle was with them. I slept in her room most of the time, occasionally using the guest room. The Hospice became my home. If I couldn’t sleep, I could just walk down the corridor at two in the morning and get myself a cup of tea and take it back to Michelle’s room.
“We were very close anyway, but our time at the Hospice brought us even closer.”
Michelle was just tremendously brave. Dignity goes out the window. We were very close anyway, but our time at the Hospice brought us even closer. She asked me to shower her, and I hadn’t done that since she was a little girl. She asked me to be the person in the bathroom with her and help her with her stoma. I felt so close to her those last weeks. And I was holding her hand, one night not long after Christmas, when her breathing stopped.
Christmas appeal
This December local families are facing the hardest moments imaginable, like their final Christmas together. But thanks to supporters like you, that day will still be filled with laughter, paper crowns, cracker jokes and a Christmas dinner.
Amanda's story
part one
Every Christmas is a gift.
Michelle’s mum, Amanda, has very kindly shared her story to support our Christmas appeal 2025 and show the huge impact our care can have for local families.
Amanda's story
part three
Michelle didn't want to leave her children, but she knew she didn't have a choice. We all made promises to her, that we'd always be there for the children and we are. We will do whatever we can to give them a good life.
